What are Masculine & Feminine?

When we hear the terms masculine & feminine, often times what comes up are ideas based in gender stereotypes: To be masculine means to be muscular, ‘manly’, aggressive and stern. To be feminine means to be ‘girly’, submissive, flowy, artistic and maybe even overly emotional or weak. The reason we tend to view these energies in this way is due to our societal conditioning around the roles of men and women. This goes as far as to say what jobs are appropriate for men versus those that are appropriate for women or even classifying toys according to ones for boys and ones for girls.

Why is this an issue? First of all, if we adopt these beliefs as true, we are going to come up against things within ourselves that don’t line up with societal norms. This is going to lead to an inner conflict and perhaps even suppression. The truth is, how we desire to express ourselves as human beings can come in any number of ways. Deeming something as incorrect or not appropriate causes us to shut down or maybe even start to rebel whether its rebelling against ourselves or the world around us. Second, how society has defined masculine and feminine is not true and is actually quite limiting, restrictive and harmful.

Masculine & Feminine Explained

All human beings have the qualities of masculine and feminine within. More than simply attributes, masculine & feminine are divine energies that create and sustain life. Both are powerful and needed for wholeness. One is not better than the other. Suppression, rejection and mistrust of either of these energies is something we need to look at if we want to unpack, heal, and step into our true wholeness. From our place we can begin to truly expand into the fullness of who we are. So, if these energies are NOT how society has defined them, then what are they exactly?

To begin to understand masculine & feminine, we need to first consider God… and not God in the religious sense but God as in a Oneness, the space where we came from before coming into this human experience. Without going too far down that rabbit hole, we are now going to move into the moment we are born, the moment we come into the world of duality. Duality is how we get to experience life – giving/receiving, listening/speaking, leading/following as examples. These are masculine and feminine energies.

The Domination Experience Within Our 3D World

Many years ago, something happened within our world that caused a very toxic paradigm to take root, a paradigm where all things feminine were suppressed and all things masculine were revered. Leaders (the masculine) of churches, governments and schools were and have been the ones calling the shots instead of serving the people (feminine). This has created a very curious split inside of us and an illusion of false separation. You see, the energies of masculine and feminine, while they play out in the world around us and in our interactions with others, this dynamic first shows up inside of us. We have both, masculine and feminine energies and for many of us, because of the world we have grown up in, are in a constant war within ourselves where the masculine is suppressing our own feminine. A perfect example of this is seen in diet and weight loss culture where the masculine (the mind) is barking orders on the feminine (the body). Again, I’m talking all bodies here, all genders. Rather than inquiring with the body to feel into what it needs, the masculine becomes fixated on a visual fantasy of what it thinks the body needs to look like. This is a harmful loop many people fall into due to over exposure to media and advertising, another outlet which perpetuates the domination culture.

From Separation to Wholeness

To begin to move from this false separation, we must first start by being incredibly honest with ourselves as to how this domination idea has manifested within us because it starts with us first and foremost. What does that inner dialogue look like and feel like for you? How might you be holding yourself back? What cycles or loops are on repeat which are causing further suffering?

Now, as I mentioned previously, we all have both polarities of masculine and feminine, however, one of these sides tends to be innately more developed than the other. In my experience, my innate wiring has been more in the feminine. I’ve always been incredibly intuitive, more of a listener, and would prefer to follow over leading. When we know which side is more developed, our work is to strengthen the opposing polarity, thereby coming into balance. My work has been to get more comfortable with leading, creating, doing, teaching, and taking charge which hasn’t been easy for someone with a dominant feminine side BUT has helped me find that real sweet spot where I can happily dance in both polarities and for the most part, they are working together quite blissfully inside me.

The next step is kindness and compassion – For heaven’s sake, we mustn’t be so hard on ourselves. That in itself is a training handed down to us by the world. Take a breath when you notice your patterns and choose to act differently. I can’t stress meditation practice enough – to cultivate a meditative mindset, even if it’s 5 minutes a day. Be consistent and practice daily. Through meditation, we cultivate our witness mind, the quiet observer that can simply watch the thoughts without reacting to them.

The final thing I will mention about unpacking and resolving this inner dynamic of masculine and feminine is that we are more than what the 3D world has led us to believe, we are more than our bodies and this dense physical reality. We are also divine beings. Infinity lives within. And while some of us living heavily in the material world while others live heavily in the spiritual, applying the concepts of masculine and feminine to our lives is about also embracing the totality of who we are as human beings. For the goal (if I can use the word goal here to describe a tantric experience) of tantra is about expansion of consciousness, expanding into our true potential as opposed to walking around in a limited, contracted way.

The journey is one of a lifetime, my friends and a worthy one at that. Here’s to the exploration and unfolding within each of us.

If you wish to dive into your inner workings of masculine and feminine, I’d love to welcome you to our 8-week Inner Polarity Group Coaching Program. To learn more about it click here.

Much Love, Tim